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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A Piece of Shit, that's me!

Ya know, this job as an ER doctor can really be a load of laughs. This afternoon, some dude comes in alleging that his bottle of hydrocodone (a narcotic analgesic) was run over by a car and he needed me to prescribe some more for him. He even had a broken bottle (empty of course) and a handwritten note from a cop stating that his bottle had been run over by a car.

I've been a doctor for almost 30 years. I never remember anyone's blood pressure medicine or asthma medicine being lost, stolen, accidentally flushed, or run over by a car. However, it happens with startling regularity when narcotics or tranquilizers are involved.

When I told him I did not believe his story and that he was getting nothing, he let me know I was, "a piece of shit".

What really pisses me off is not being called a piece of shit, but the fact that these people wander in here thinking the ER is an after hours pain clinic and expect us to swallow their cock and bull stories. They seem to forget that I and most of my colleagues are pretty smart people. You don't get to be a doctor if you're not, and besides that, I've had 30 years of experience listening to bullshit. If it looks like a turd, sounds like a turd, smells like a turd......it's probably a turd, green flies and all.

I probably am a piece of shit, but he didn't get any hydrocodone...........ahhhhhhh hee hee hee hee hee.


  1. I've never heard that excuse before. Wonder where he got the cop's note? I suppose you did not recognize the cop's signature???? hee hee

    Your just a big loveable sweetie. But a smart sweetie.

    Debbie Hamilton
    Right Truth

  2. The world is full of stupid people. That's why i like cats!

  3. Doc H,
    It "could" have been true? Where is your empathy? :)
    Doc A

  4. Doc A,

    Empathy, shmempathy!

    Pretty short on compassion after dealing with that idiot!

    Doc H.