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Monday, April 6, 2009

Taxing My Brain

Well, with the help of Turbotax, I finally got around to finishing my 2008 income tax return. I also funded my self employed 401K for 2008. I guess this is a good time to fund it since the stock market is in the tank. I have heard rumors that the Messiah, the Lord Barack Hussein Obama, the most merciful is wanting to take away our 401K plans. Well, there's a few thousand more dollars in taxes I'll have to send in! Thanks Barry!

I find the last of March and the first part of April to be one of the most highly pissed off times of the year for me, and with good reason. I get to see my hard earned dollars drift away and my wealth spread around by the Democrat and Republican crooks in congress.

I wish for one year that everyone had to do their taxes in the same manner that self employed people such as I have to do them. No FICA, no Medicare, no withholding, nope, you get your gross salary from your bossman, and then every quarter you have to send in your "estimated" tax to the almighty federal gubment. Every quarter when I write that check I curse the United States Treasury. You employed people have to pay the same money, but it doesn't hurt nearly as much when you never see the money to begin with. FICA and withholding is a clever scheme to keep scales on the eyes of the masses.

Oh but it gets better. My favorite part of the 1040 is the section where I have to figure out my "Self Employment Tax". This is the gubment's clever way of collecting my Social Security and Medicare taxes. Why the hell don't they just call it that? Instead they make it sound like they are punishing me for being self employed. Boy they really know how to piss me off!

Then I have to spend time wrestling with Turbotax trying to figure out how much money to contribute to my retirement plans so as not to pay the gubment any more than necessary. If I don't put it in my retirement, I have to send it to Uncle Sam. It's about that stupidly simple.

Since I have an employee, my sweet wifey, I also have the pleasure of witholding quarterly FICA and witholding tax on her as well, along with the payroll tax forms, W2, W3 forms that go with it.

Then all through the year I get to send paperwork and payments to:
Austin, Texas
Dallas, Texas
Ogden, Utah
Cincinnati, Ohio
St. Louis, Missouri
Memphis, Tennessee
Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
I may have left out one or two.

Why can't the IRS come up with one damn place to mail all these forms?

I'm waiting to see what will happen when I end up sending the right form to the wrong city.

I did end up sending them my 2007 4th quarter payroll tax form three times because they "couldn't find it".

Furthermore, it really chaps my hide that most of Obama's cabinet, including the Treasury secretary are tax cheats! If it were up to me, I wouldn't send the bastards a penny, but I'd never get away with it.

Joe Biden said that paying taxes is our "patriotic duty". If I had my way, I'd be the most unpatriotic sonofabitch on the planet.

Of course, if you make a mistake, the IRS wants to charge you penalties and interest. How the hell can you charge me penalties and interest on money that is mine to begin with???

I'm through bitching now!


  1. Well, you're through bitching now, but I'm sure something else will come along in a few minutes. With Obama and his administration there's never a calm moment for Conservatives.

    Nice rant.

    Debbie Hamilton
    Right Truth

  2. p.s. Bet you didn't know that paying taxes is VOLUNTARY:


  3. Next year it will be easier to do your taxes. Obama will just take everything including your first born son.

  4. i like when they owe us - a few times i've NOT sent those returns in until they start hounding us - sending threatening letters that WE OWE this and that amount - then i'll send ours in stating THEY owe us! it is my great pleasure to tweak the irs.