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Friday, May 29, 2009

Doncha just love email???

I have had the same conversation may times:

THEM> Oh great! I heard you are on email! What's your email address?

ME> Why do you wanna know it?

THEM> Uhhhhh, I thought I might send you some stuff????

Many times this person is someone with whom you don't communicate on a regular basis and suddenly they want to be your buddy and have your email address!?!?!?

ME> Well, if you want to send me a personal note or something that's fine, but if you wanna put me on your forward list and send me a damned copy of anything and everything you come across on the internet, then you don't need my email address. You probably did not know this but most people don't wanna see that shit!

NOW YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME THE GROUCH!

After this conversation, I find out that they really did not want my email address after all.

I really do like email! REALLY! I prefer email as a way to keep in touch with friends, and even conduct business. Email gives me a chance to collect my thoughts and say what I really want to say. I check my inbox several times a day and I rarely give out my primary email address to anyone. I have several bullshit email addresses that I use when I register with online companies (you just know they're gonna sell your information despite disclaimers).

Indeed in the bullshit inboxes, I find offers for discount Viagra and Hydrocodone (interesting combination), offers to enlarge my penis, methods to become a millionaire working on my computer from home, new warranties for my 12 year old pickup truck...................does anyone believe any of this rot? Maybe Democrats? I dunno, if you'd vote for Obama I guess you'd believe most anything.

I love the ones too that state they are about to close my account and that if I want to keep this from happening, I need email them my social insecurity nummer and my credit card nummer.

Alas, there are indeed those folks with way too much time on their hands. They will get into the multi surf and click mode. They'll look at the latest jokes, political stories, poems, cartoons, sales pitches......etc etc and they just can't help themselves, but that itchy little crooked finger will creep toward the mouse. It will click on the autoforward button and send the page to EVERYONE in their address book.

I am amused by the political forwards I get, reciting a very old story sometimes from several years ago, treating it as if it was the latest news!

Frequently I'll get a forward of some story that is a hoax. In fact, I will usually have seen the hoax several times. I have found that hoax spreading is a disease usually shared by new internet surfers. They don't bother to check stuff out. They just click the forward button.........

I really like the stuff that says, "Forward this to everyone on your mailing list in the next 5 minutes......."

or Jesus won't welcome you into heaven.
and you'll have good luck for the next 10 years.
or your dog will hate you forever.

YOU GET THE IDEA.

Then I love the email titles: "This is hillarious! Forward to your friends!" Well it might have been mildly funny the first time, but after the 9th or 10th time, not so much.

I even had someone forward me a Nigerian scam once with the comment, "WOW! Ain't this great? I'm gonna call right away!"

Friends, just remember a few truths of life:

1. If you just saw it on the internet, there is a 95 percent chance I have already seen it.
2. If you just saw it on the internet, there is a fairly good chance it is not true.
3. If it sounds too good to be true, there is almost a 100 percent chance it is not true.
4. Many people who receive your blanket forwards would rather you did not send them. They're just too polite to say anything. I'm not one of those!
5. If you spread your email address blindly, you will have horse manure spread upon you ten fold!

GROUCH HAS SPOKEN!

4 comments:

  1. Amen! I agree completely and the comment that we are too polite to tell people is also true, but I'm getting over that one.

    Debbie Hamilton
    Right Truth

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  2. My kinda grouchy SOB, You really have a way with wrds!
    WB

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  3. Thanks williebill72. I always try harder.

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