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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Yes, Virginia, There Really is a Texas Bottoms

Next Saredee, September 5, those steenkin' Strangers, oh so Morbid, will be making the trip to the Texas Bottoms south of the town of Hoenwald to play music at a Labor Day Bash. There really is a Texas Bottoms. I have it on the topo map here:

I don't guess Texas Bottoms is an "official" place. The area we are going to is a collection of dwellings, campsites, and RV lots on the banks of the Buffalo River. The folks that spend summers there will be congregating to enjoy a big time cookout and the rockin'-n-rollin' of the Morbid Strangers.

Let me tell you, this place is REALLY out in the sticks. In fact, have you ever heard the old saying, "You can't get there from here...."??

Some of the folks at the hospital asked me about coming over and I reckon the safest thing to do would be to follow me, but for the brave at heart, I came up with some "directions".

1. Go to Hoenwald to the middle of town.
2. Head south on Highway 99 for 5.76 miles.
3. Turn right onto Howard Switch Road. Go .747 miles.
4. Turn left onto Sickler Road. Go 1.553 miles.
5. There is an unnamed road to the left that parallels the Buffalo River. Turn here.
6. After a few hundred feet, you should see bunches of cars.

(Distances provided by Google Maps distance calculator. I make no guarantee of accuracy.)

The band will be playing from about 7PM until the wee hours of the morning. Hopefully we will have better luck than on the 4th of July. We had to pack it in on account of a thunderstorm.

BYOB............oh and brang yore skeeter spray!


  1. Might be a good idea to have a caravan, heh. I wonder what the drive time from our house to Texas Bottoms is? Surely you can search that out somewhere.

    I can tell everyone that those folks COOK. On July 4th, they had hamburgers, hot dogs, BBQ ribs, baked beans, corn on the cob, and on and on and on. I've never seen so much food, cooked right on site. Everything done right. Hot foods kept hot. Cold foods kept cold. A real professional production.

    I didn't know on the 4th that they had this big cooking project, so I took cold cuts, sandwich fixings, etc. But this time, I'm only taking my "drinks", I'll eat their food.

    There was no charge for the food, but it would be the polite thing to do to leave or at least offer a contribution when you get your plate.

    There are games for the kiddies, but there were only a few kids there. Everyone was having a good time, swimming in the river, swinging out on a tree rope, dropping into the water.

    People had everything from bathing suits to jeans and jackets on, nothing fancy.

    Oh, they do have benches there which filled up pretty quick, but you might want to bring your own lawn chairs.

    They even have an "out house" when nature calls. I'm sorry to day I "held it" and did not enter the little house with a fingernail moon on the front. But we left so early, I got away with it. Those ladies who did "take advantage of the facility" said it was just fine.

    Y'all come on out. The food is good, the folks are just as nice as they can be, and the music is ...


    Deborah F. Hamilton
    Right Truth

  2. Sounds like good directions to me. I recall a number of years back I was asking a lady(via the phone) for directions to her house. She went on and on about this left and that right and finally close to the end she said " now one you start down that road take the last left before the end of the road" , I scratched my head wondering how I was suppose to know where the last left was, so when I went to see her I went to the end of that road and came back taking the first right. Oh, and about "you can't get there for here" I actually had an old-timer at a rural country store tell be that one time. I recall saying,"well I'm in trouble now". Love those old sayings, most however make sense!