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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Doctor Grouch's 5 Point Health Plan

While I am on my soap box I have a simple 5 point health plan guaranteed to solve the healthcare "crisis" in America.

1. Pick up the phone.

2. Call your doctor's office.

3. Make an appointment.

4. Show up for your appointment.

5. Pay your doctor bill.

The above 5 point health plan is guaranteed to work each and every time it's tried.

I have been thinking about adding a 6th point and this would be, "kill all the lawyers and kill'em tonight.", but I didn't want to sound too radical.


  1. Sounds logical to me, seems any intelligent person would follow those guidelines. Ummm, OK, I guess laziness wins out over intelligence.

    Right Truth

  2. I REALLY like point no.6. BUT! If I call what passes for my local family doctor's office, I am advised that it will be 3-6 days before I can get an appointment. When I do get the appointment, assuming I haven't died from whatever ails me, i get to sit in the waiting room for 4 hours past my appointment time, while the doctor sees a stream of nubile, tight butted pharmaceutical sales womens. Hmmmmm, what about THAT, Grouch! THIS IS FACT!!!

  3. Don't have cash right now. Will 2 sweaters, 4 hats, 8 pairs of gloves and socks (all the above hand knitted) do instead? I throw in a jar of my homemade jam.

  4. 1. should be call a Doctor who knows what he's doing.

  5. Can you post naked pitcures here ?

  6. Lizzard, back in the old days when I was a real doctor and had an office, we would make it a point to try and hold open some free time during the day to work in people with urgent problems. I can't speak to how my colleagues conduct their bidness. Many of the ER clinic crowd I have found will "conveniently" wait until 4:30PM to try and call their doctor's office for an appointment and then rush to the ER right after closing time with the excuse "they couldn't see me today". Boiling this down, the bottom line is they think they are too good to wait a while in the office while they are worked in.

    Findalis, I am always open to barter arrangements.

    Anonymous 1, I know what I am doing, what about you? Don't doubt me.

    Anonymous 2, Did you want to see anyone in particular naked?