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Monday, February 1, 2010

I Ain't Your Honey, I Ain't Your Sweetie, and I Ain't Your Darlin'!

Before the winter storm the other day I stopped at yet another convenience store and got some kerosene. As I pulled up to the kerosene pump, some chick comes bopping out of the store and says, "Can I turn on the kerosene pump for ya, Honey?"

"Uh, yeah...." I muttered.

As filled my 2 cans the chick stood out in the freezing cold with me babbling incessantly and giving me the latest weather report and assuring me it was going to be the storm of the century........you know......all that important stuff you wanna hear while you're freezing your butt off pumping kerosene.

Anyway, finished pumping, I went inside and lemme tell ya, she was a doll, flaming red hair with streaks of some other dingy color (nobody has real hair like that) and a variety of metallic lumps and bumps hanging from her lips and nostrils and a few other places. She probably had some really gorgeous large tattoos too but I couldn't tell.

"Is that gonna be all for ya today, Sweetie?" she asked so bouncy and perky.

"Uh, yeah, I guess....." I muttered again (I had just gotten off a 24 hour shift at the hospital). I paid and headed out the door.

"You be careful and have a great day, Darlin'!" she exclaimed.

What is it with this Honey, Sweetie, Darlin', crap? I'm as friendly as the next person but I don't call people Honey, Sweetie, and Darlin', even people that I know well, much less a total stranger. I reserve those terms for sweet Wifey and Penny. I know all of you have seen this. It's really weird when a waitress in a restaurant does it to BOTH me and sweet Wifey...........creepy. Makes me wonder if she's lesbian or bisexual or just strange.Wifey is creeped out by this behavior also.

Seems like please, thank you, and have a great day and come back, would be sufficient for all situations......but that's just me.............


  1. Grouch you are out of step, get with it this is the new lingo of the hip hop generation. Times are changing and old relics like you have to get with it or get run over---yep you're getting to that point, I reached it a few years back, ha! Welcome to the new paradise or is it hell, bro!

  2. That reminded me of the lab tech you had in Jackson Hospital years ago. She kept sticking you trying to find a vein to draw blood. Your veins were fine, she just sucked at her job...

    All the time she was stabbing you, she was babbling calling you honey, sweetie, darlin.

    I've run across people that do that, even on the phone. I can't stand it. It's like someone hugging you when you don't even want to be close to them, or people getting into your personal space. Freaky.

    Right Truth

  3. Grouch,

    You must listen to Ron, and if not Ron how about Bob Dylan, "Get out of the new world if ya can't lend a hand, cause the Times They Are A Changin!"

    OK that was total BS cause it really pisses me off too!

    I was kicked out of a Shell Station by the manager cause the bitch behind the counter asked me, "Well boyfriend, do you know how to work an automatic carwash?"

    This was after my car came out of the so called "Automatic Carwash" for the third time covered in soap suds! Well I went freaking balistic! That's when the manager came out and told me to leave. I said I would leave when the damn soap suds were off my car!

    Officer Jenkins was very nice and asked the manager for a hose so I could rinse my car off. He retrieved one for me post haste!

    I wonder how long it took that studip SOB to figure out that when I left I jetted that F@#$KING hose about six feet into his landscaping!

    He who laughs last!

    Lock & Load!!!

    Sons & Daughters of Liberty Unite!!!

  4. Ron, I like being a relic.

    Sweetie, yeah she was also dripping snot all over me and sniffing while she was calling me, DARLIN'.

    L, that's funny, sorry I missed it.

  5. Grouch,

    It was even better in person!

    Lock & Load!!!

  6. BT, I'm sorry to tell you that YOU AIN"T as friendly as the next person. You ain't even as friendly as the 5th person in line. Thas awrite tho', your friends make allowances for ya. What somebody calls me has never bothered me, be it sweetie or asshole, just as long as they spells it rite.
    Blamed ol GROUCH!

  7. Lizzard, it's just that I am kinda particular about which dumbass I want to nuzzle up to. I don't like to get too friendly too quickly cause most people don't really give a sh*t about you, they just want sumpin from you.

    Remember it took me a while to become friendly with your dumb ass. But just look at what a jewel of a friend you have now!