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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Doctor's Day and the Death of a Possum

Last night while I was headed home, I ran over and most likely killed a possum (Opossum for all you yankees). Oh the horror!

Only through a fateful turn of events did this possum have to die.

Yesterday was Doctor's Day. The hospital was kind enough to get a fruit basket for me. Well I did not work yesterday, but I did have to go to a meeting in Jackson yesterday evening so I told the hospital I would swing by on my way home from the meeting and get my basket.

Normally, on my way home from Jackson, I would continue straight on through the town of Parsons to my house. Since I went by the hospital, I took a different route home through the town of Decaturville. Between Decaturville and home, I encountered a shape in the dark road. It was in the opposite lane and it was still. I thought it was a dead animal and continued my drive. At the very last moment, the shape suddenly charged over into my lane. THUMP THUMP! Dead Possum! Oh the horror!

If the possum's surviving family had a lawyer, he/she would not only sue me, but would also sue the people who set Doctor's Day on March 30. If there had been no Doctor's Day, there would have been no fruit basket, I would have taken my normal route home, and the possum would still be alive (maybe).

The lawyer would also sue State Volunteer Mutual Insurance Company (my malpractice carrier) for scheduling a seminar on this date. If they had not had the seminar, I would never have gone to Jackson, and the possum would still be alive (maybe).

I suppose the lawyer could also sue the fruit basket company. Had there been no fruit basket, I would have taken my normal route home and the possum would be alive (maybe).

And lets not leave the hospital out of the lawsuit. The hospital has got some nerve giving me a fruit basket! After all, I'm an evil rich doctor! I do not deserve a fruit basket! I have gotten everything I have by ripping off poor sick people! And now I have killed an innocent possum! Shame on that evil hospital!

Anyway, the whole point of this is to tell the surviving possums that I am very sorry, and to give you a little insight into how trial lawyers think.......

Come to think of it.........I guess I could counter sue the trial lawyers. Were it not for the trial lawyers, I would not have to go to the malpractice seminar (to learn how to keep from being sued by trial lawyers) and the possum would still be alive (maybe).

1 comment:

  1. The Possum was laying in the road "playing possum", as they are prone to do.

    My brother's dog found a possum in their back yard. She attacked it, chewed on it a little, till she thought it was dead. She continued to nose it and paw it, but it would not move. She presumed it was dead, brought it to the edge of the porch to show off to the humans...

    Then, you guessed it, the possum jumped up and ran under the porch. Surprise to everyone!

    Right Truth