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Thursday, July 1, 2010

Speech Control Laws in Chicago

Chicago mayor, Richard Daley, announced today the passage of sweeping new free speech laws affecting those in the city. Specifically bloggers in the city of Chicago will be limited to posting or contributing to only one blog and their posts will be limited to one post per week. Additionally, before a citizen can become a blogger, they will have to enroll in and successfully complete a gubment approved speech class.

In special cases selected bloggers will be allowed to post to multiple blogs provided these blogs are specifically approved by the Chicago Board of Free Speech Regulation.


Additionally, computer users in Chicago will only be allowed to view blogs one day per week unless they have a special permit from the board, the SEIU, or ACORN. All computers will be monitored by the city and violators will face stiff fines or even possibly jail time. Daley indicated that massive new taxes will be necessary to fund the monitoring effort.

Also under the new regulations, television watchers will only be allowed to watch Fox News once per week. Special scrambler devices must be installed at the expense of the homeowner which will restrict viewing over the air or over cable. Satellite customers will be required to install similar devices on their dishes. CNN, MSNBC, and network news programs will be unrestricted at the present time. Talk radio stations will also be limited to one day per week, generally Saturday or Sunday. The Chicago Board of Free Speech Regulation will review content of programming on Fox News and talk radio on a yearly basis and restrictions may be modified if the programming content is approved by the board.

Daley said that these regulations are necessary to protect the welfare of the citizens and assure future election of Dimocrats while at the same time will satisfy the first amendment right to free speech. Daley said, “The Constitution does not specifically say how much free speech should be allowed. We feel that once per week blogging, listening, and  viewing should be more than adequate in satisfying the free speech requirements of the citizens and should stand up to any legal challenges before the court system.”

7 comments:

  1. Nice Satire.

    Debbie
    Right Truth

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  2. p.s. Making laws like this is exactly what Washington D.C. did to continue controlling the rights of gun owners. I assume Chicago will do the same.

    Debbie
    Right Truth
    http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Doesn't the Internet fall under federal "interstate commerce" rules and therefore subject to the First Amendment?

    Chicago must just love being thrown into the Supreme Court...

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  4. P.S.

    I refrained from anything associated with Chicago's Blogo-sphere. ;o)

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  5. Chicago politics reminds me of a cartoon I scripted once called "Methane To Their Madness."

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  6. Dayum that's good.. BUT, I wouldn't put it passed them to try something like this real soon.

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  7. They are of course butchering the second amendment. There is no reason why sooner or later they won't do the same to the first.

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