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Friday, August 13, 2010

Rolling Road Hazards

Well, after a long 24 hour shift at the Chamber of Horrors (aka hospital emergency room), I fired up my motorcycle and prepared for a leisurely ride home, an 8 mile journey. It was warm but not yet too hot and the breeze felt good on my face.

As I pulled out on the road next to the hospital I was confronted by a white pickup truck rolling out into my path from the convenience store next door. Now he had been stopped but now he was just rolling slowly and LOOKING RIGHT AT ME! Oh! I should have known, he had a damned cellphone stuck in his ear! What is it about this rolling business? Why not just STOP? But, no, you just gotta keep rolling slowly, making the other driver wonder what in the hell you're gonna do. Anyway, he was half out into my lane but he finally stopped. As I swerved around him he gave me a dirty look as if to say, "How dare you make me stop my truck for your stupid motorcycle!"

I went on down the street doing a leisurely 35 mph through town. As I approached the Tipp Topp market (a notorious place for accidents) some woman driving a clunker slowly rolled right out into my path. She had at first been stopped but for no apparent reason started rolling.

Now my motorcycle is big. The head lights and running lights stay on all the time. I am a pretty big guy and pretty hard to miss. It was broad daylight. What is it with this rolling business? Why not just stop and stay stopped?

Oh! You guessed it! She had a cellphone stuck in her ear, and was LOOKING RIGHT AT ME! When this woman realized she was half out in the street, she actually backed up.

I read somewhere that driving and talking on a cellphone is similar to driving after about 4 martinis. I believe it!

Most motorcycle accidents occur at turnouts and intersections, so I am very wary of these situations. If I were in my truck I really wouldn't mind hitting them broadside.......I could use a new truck, but on the bike I have to be defensive and assume everyone else is an idiot!

I continued an uneventful ride out of town and finally turned onto state route 100, my last leg before home. SR 100 is a hilly winding stretch of road and fun for cruising along at about 55 to 60 mph.

As I approached a final curve before my final turnoff, I am treated to some idiot in a clunker, rounding the curve at a high rate of speed and across the double yellow line and half in my lane. I had plenty of time to slow down abruptly and I had even momentarily planned to drive through the adjacent ditch if necessary. However, he suddenly realized that he was not the only person on the road and wobbled back over to his side. I could not tell if he had a cellphone or not, but I did wonder where he needed to be in such a damned big hurry. He was most likely in a big hurry to go no place fast.

So I pulled up at the house and was greeted by sweet Wifey and sweet Puppy and grateful for another fine day on planet earth.

You sure can encounter a lot of idiots in just an 8 mile stretch.


  1. Had I known in real time, I would have been chewing my nails with worry. Highway 100 is a very, very dangerous road. No place to pull over on either side.

    Right Truth

  2. We need a cellphone app that slams on the brakes when the idiot driver starts a phonecall while driving.

  3. Good bumper sticker idea:


  4. Agree on the cellphone app, David.

    You can relax toots. None of them were close calls. I am always watching for idiots.

  5. Oh, hit my blog for some good music you might remember.....

  6. I think there is a bumper sticker that says that or a reasonable facsimile, Steve.

  7. Steve, listened to the music. Rocks! And regarding the cruises? The Turkish convoy trying to deliver weapons across the Israeli blockade to the Palestinians should be called The Canard Cruises.