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Thursday, April 28, 2011

LADIES! Semen Will Make You HAPPY!

Well, here's a classic example that doing useless research can be hazardous to your career. The dude at the left is Dr. Lazar Greenfield, who recently resigned his position as president elect of the American College of Surgeons. Dr. Lazar recently did a study that suggested that semen contained chemicals that tended to make women happier. Dr. Lazar got in a whole lot of hot water over this and even after numerous apologies had to resign. I would like to include the text of his controversial article. Judge for yourself if there's anything at all here that you find offensive:

'As far as humans are concerned, you may think you know all about sexual signals, but you'd be surprised by new findings.
It's been known since the 1990s that heterosexual women living together synchronize their menstrual cycles because of pheromones, but when a study of lesbians showed that they do not synchronize, the researchers suspected that semen played a role.
In fact, they found ingredients in semen that include mood enhancers like estrone, cortisol, prolactin, oxytocin, and serotonin; a sleep enhancer, melatonin; and of course, sperm, which makes up only 1%-5%. Delivering these compounds into the richly vascularized vagina also turns out to have major salutary effects for the recipient.
Female college students having unprotected sex were significantly less depressed than were those whose partners used condoms (Arch. Sex. Behav. 2002;31:289-93). Their better moods were not just a feature of promiscuity, because women using condoms were just as depressed as those practising total abstinence. The benefits of semen contact also were seen in fewer suicide attempts and better performance on cognition tests.

So there's a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there's a better gift for that day than chocolates.'
Well I found all that very enlightening but wouldn't you know that a bunch of people COMPLAINED? Apparently the people complaining were a bunch of FEMALE SURGEONS...

"some of whom said that it reflected a macho culture in surgery that needed to change."
One of the complainers was Dr. Collen Brophy, a surgeon at Vanderbilt. I dunno about the rest of you but I'm kinda thinking that Dr. Brophy and a bunch of these other gal surgeons are perhaps upset and out of sorts probably because THEY AREN"T GETTING ANY! Maybe if they were getting regular semen injections they would feel differently, but geez I gotta say that if I were an available participant, I probably would not want to accommodate the chick at the right......WHEW! Ok! Ok! I know I am being terribly insensitive and downright rude, but hey! I don't care!

Come on people! Do you not have anything better to be outraged about? Good grief! Get a life!

And ladies, don't forget your daily semen injection.

In the interest of fairness most surgeons, men and women, are not nice people. There are a few that I like but not many. Having said that, there are a couple of lady surgeons who have worked here at the hospital that are very nice.


  1. Yes, Lizzard, when it comes to scientists, even a blind hog will pick up an acorn now and then.

  2. I don't know if it is the semen that makes me happy, but I do know the delivery system does!